If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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