Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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