At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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