Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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