I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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