You smell like a Billy Joel song
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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