so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
