I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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