WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
