Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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