week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
