i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
