Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
