fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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