he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
