you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Found the puke drawer
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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