I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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