Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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