lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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