He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
