you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
