Jerry, you need to find god
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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