she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize