I'm drive I can fine osifer
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
