i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize