If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
