y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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