I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
