You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
