Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
