Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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