What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
