it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
