Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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