So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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