At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
