He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
