are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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