My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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