omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
