I just cut my nipple shaving
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
