He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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