make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
