I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
