come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
