so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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