if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
