Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
