dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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