Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
