Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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