drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
