So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
