Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
