Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
