Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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