put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
