She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
