I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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