We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize