I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
