you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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