Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
