The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What a dumb baby whore.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize