My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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